Monday, December 27, 2010

Sketches

I sketched something today, and really enjoyed.These are the pictures i came across in newspaper and i was tempted to sketch the two.Have a look..i know they are not perfect but i just tried to draw them. :)

Friday, December 24, 2010

Imaginary Santa Claus



Finally the battle got over , I have become 2/7th  of managerJ.I am back from the ride of rollercoaster, the days had been on and off, that is how it has been most of the times, but at least I have a week ahead to do what I want to and spend time with my family. Well I have a number of things lined up in my mind which I want to and will do.
1. I want to enjoy my life, and rejuvenate myself.
2. I want to read novels and absorb something out of them.
3. I want to draw and paint whatever I would like to. (Sorry I didn’t tell you people before that drawing and painting is my hobby)
4. I will meet my friends and gossip about n no of things.    
5.I  will visit my grandparents.
6. I will finish FRIENDS :-P and watch movies .

Today was the first day at home, woke up at around 10 am, had breakfast, was about to think of what to do when my mom got a call from office and was required  in the office immediately(her boss likes to disturb his subordinates during their vacation..)Anyhow I went along with her and got hold of two good books from the library of her office. These are one of those books which I always wanted to read but never got a chance, perhaps will do complete them now J.One of them is ‘the fountain head’ and other one is ‘The colour purple’. In evening we went to market and shopped ,it has been good to be home and shop with mum ,it is completely a unique feeling(i hope girls would understand what am talking about) J.She observes the product carefully  and values the product according to its benefits. She always says ” you have to spend your money ,so don’t just throw it into something not worth it. Make sure you like the thing before buying and will fulfil your need”. I brought some clothes in Bangalore and Delhi which she never liked L sometimes she says colour is not good, sometimes size or quality is not good. I was disheartened and decided will try to shop along with her :-P as she won’t like anything brought by me or may be according to her I have yet not developed the discretion to select the quality cloth.


                     Oh its Christmas tomorrow ..Merry Christmas readers! This day always reminds me my childhood days. We both as children were excited about this day every year because of the magical figure of Santa Claus (The legendary patron saint of children; an imaginary being who is thought to bring presents to children at Christmas) which has been associated with the occasion who we believed would bestow us with a lot of gifts .Somehow my parents managed to make us feel that Santa Claus exists in real and is not an imaginary figure, may be at that point of time they didn’t want to break our dream of having presents from Santa. My mom used to tell me that you have to decorate the tree  which would attract Santa to our house, decorate it with your heart and keep it out in the backyard so that Santa can see it while flying on his reindeer cart get attracted to it and visit our home to see who has done the good work. So I used to collect all the fancy stuff to be put on the tree, some candies, sparkling balls , stars etc and decorated it every year .My mum used to watch me doing that and I used to ask her, is it looking fine now, what else should be done. In the night I dreamed about Santa , believing that he would definitely come and leave some gift for me because of the decorated tree. In the morning I used to check beneath the pillow for the gift from Santa ,to my surprise I always found chocolates, candies J and believed that Santa came and left it for us. But when I grew up I came to know that it was all done by my parents , they  slipped the gifts beneath my pillow and never let me know. Later on my brother told me that there is no Santa Claus in real who can fulfil my wish ,that day a notion was broken but I was happy because my parents played the role of Santa :-D , which I never thought of.


                     Today I was walking through the shops when I saw all that fancy stuff used to decorate Christmas tree and thought that why not to decorate it this time, but now I know there will not be any chocolates beneath my pillow :-P ,no one to tell me that Santa will come in the night ,no one to ensure me that your wish will be fulfilled and that is why I don’t like to be adult ,I wish I still had been a little girl who would have dreamt about the Santa and the gifts with no worries , but  alas I grew up as time waits for none and keeps on moving.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Seven days in rollercoaster



          We are over with the first day, I don’t know how this week will pass. Will it ever pass or not ?I am waiting eagerly for the next Thursday to come somehow  and I wish I could step in a time machine , fast forward it and go straight away to next Thursday. What else can make me think like that except exams? L
                   It was the first day of torture there are still 6 more days to go :(.Yesterday it was a holiday, perhaps the only one before exams. I got up at 9 am, convinced myself to take the book which was lying somewhere on my study table. Started studying, after sometime felt tempted to do other things like surf net, read novel, watch a movie (why do I think about all such things when I have to study...i don’t know, am yet to figure it out.) then buried all those temptations and whispered a no of times to myself “I have exam tomorrow, study idiot don’t think crap” after sometime involved myself so much in OB that I slept..Zzzzz...Zzzz...lolz...got up with a sensation and again started the drive to finish the syllabus. Talking about the subject Organizational behavior, it is about the ideal behaviour, structure, norms etc required in an organization to become successful .We have to familiarize ourselves  with at least terms and the context where they have to be used. I had to read two full readings (which are notes of professor) and one text book ,which was too much to read in a day and specially when I haven’t read them before. Sometimes I wonder what is the purpose of burdening us with so much reading? Is it to make us study the subjects in detail and prepare dissertation? Or to make us capable of reading the books in one go...oh not just reading but analyzing as well? I kept on studying and studying, simultaneously thought about a no of things. Sometimes memories of past, home kept on flashing and sometimes it was just the temptation to watch a movie or do Facebooking. Finally completed syllabus at 1:30 a.m. and slept. And I was feeling as if have I retained anything or not, oh shit what were sources of power? What are the strategies for interdependency roles? How to manage the change in culture? Blah blah.
               It was so monotonous yesterday and I was wondering when environment is dynamic, we should follow organic structure which leads to innovation and many productive things while in our case it is the same routine, mechanistic life where the day to day activities are so similar, no creativity ,no enthusiasm .Well Ob concepts fit here as well since the environment is stable and no change is required we have to follow mechanistic model and engage ourselves in the daily assignments, projects, PPts etc. and are supposed to have fun out of this life when we have to do such work for around 18 hours of the day. Every day is just another day which passes and brings me closer towards my aim and this makes me happy at the end of the day.
              Exams are more of like a rollercoaster in which you are a child who fears from taking rides but has been seated there forcefully fastened with seatbelt which you can’t open, no matter you like it or not you have to bear it. You have to face the fear and get involved to the extent that you don’t feel fear anymore. Whether you are able to pass through it or not depends on how courageously and confidently you face it, how strong you make your will to pass through it, if you let yourself weaken at any point of time you may get thrashed by the harsh wind and the instant strokes. Close your eyes, believe in yourself, your instincts, hardwork, potential  and you will come out safely. 

Sunday, December 12, 2010

it is important to stay at the top of rabbit's hair.



ItIts 1:18 am and I want to write:P.....am getting addicted to it, I don’t know but  blogging is prompting me more and more to write J.It was my B’day today, I have celebrated it first time in hostel and am feeling good .when I was a kid, my parents used to celebrate our (mine and my bros) b’day together , and I used to fight that it was not fair .Then during college days celebration reduced to just a party and no cake cutting and other fancy stuff. In hostel, the culture is to celebrate b’day at 12 midnight by cutting cake and forcefully applying it on the b'day boy or gal’s face and thus kind of playing holi with it. No one told me about what was going to happen on my turn. Well it turned out to be the same surprise for me and I really felt good. So that is how b’day celebrations kept on changing as I grew up, not only way of celebration, but also people change with time as they grow in age.

                 yesterday at one point of time I was suddenly so saddened that I felt as if am standing alone in this world and staring the whole world with my eyes and no one besides me, I don’t know if it’s good or bad but somewhere down inside I have the fear of losing my friends and close ones, that what will happen if some day am left alone, with no one to talk to and no one to rely upon, share things. Am I that bad? Will I be able to live further? There are many kind of people we meet in this world; some of them wear different masks at different point of time while some of them don’t wear any mask. The first category never wants to reveal their inner self, what they want to do and how no one knows. They try to pretend to be something else from outside while their intentions lie safe within ,which orient their actions to achieve the motives, they are those who would ignore you, feel jealous of you but would fall on your knees if they need something form you. Second category don’t really analyse their surroundings that much with a perspective of making  their own profit, they just take the life as it comes and have no separate inner self .These people are honest and committed towards their work, they help people without any ill will and try to achieve their motive through fair means. Whereas the first category would change their mask as soon as they take out advantage from someone and move on, this makes them speak politely, shrewd, rude and in many other innumerable ways whenever required .They become narcissist to the extent that they won’t even pass a smile when they see someone passing by because that person is not of any importance to them. Mind you they are master planners and won’t ever let you know what they are aiming for and you would get to know only after you get screwed by them.

                       I don’t know but as I have grown up I have started getting negative or positive indications from the aura of people. Their personality lets me know and I don’t feel like talking to some people while I automatically share a lot of things with others. I never felt this distinction earlier and I used to consider everyone the same. But now I don’t know why but I can’t talk to everyone as I would do with a friend. I don’t know if am wrong in my discretion but somewhere my inner self stops me from talking to first category of people. Their attitude irritates me.

                     I read once a book called ‘Sophie’s world’, its one of my favourite book. There was a phrase there in the book, I don’t remember the exact lines but it said that this world is like a rabbit, when we come in this world we are standing at the tip of hairs of rabbit, as we grow and get involved in materialistic world we get deeper and deeper down towards the roots of the hair from where it’s really difficult to get back to the top of the hair and see the rabbit as a whole and its creator. People in today’s world have integrated themselves in the race of to be the first one to such an extent that they have lost the wisdom to judge what is right and wrong, they don’t know what would be the consequences on others from their attitude they just want to achieve success by hook or crook. They have come so far on the roots of rabbit’s hair that they can’t see people who are still staying on the top, they are not affected by what is happening up there and will keep on seeing this virtual materialistic world being unaware of the fact that real world is where rabbit lives which only those at top of its hair can identify .

Saturday, December 11, 2010

iris [lyrics]



Life dies inside a person when there are no others willing to be-friend him. He thus gets filled with emptiness and a non-existent sense of self-worth. - Mark R. J. Lavoie

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Memorabilia

          I had been waiting for this day for more than six months when I finally got a mail, I was so thrilled and happy to see this mail in my inbox, for which I used to check my mailbox 10 times a day. After seeing the mail I estimated that I was just left with two weeks to go. I told the most awaited news to my parents and brother, they were also happy for me. Yes it was nothing else but my joining letter in the mail from Oracle Financial services software ltd. I had got posting in Bangalore.

           I passed out in 2009 June and got placed in Oracle way back in March 2008.I had been sitting home waiting for my joining in the hope that one day they will call me. It was a really frustrating phase ,my daily routine was like  get up at 10 am , get fresh, have breakfast, study ,surf net when get bored or tired then hug mum when she came from office in the evening ,gossip with her ,go for a stroll and then after dinner get engaged with a novel. All thanks to recession, I could take CAT and prepare well for it, I could read a no of novels, do whatever I could do and the best thing was enjoying my stay at home. But sometimes it was really frustrating to keep on waiting like this at home especially when all your classmates got their joining and had moved on.So finally I started packing my bags when got the mail and was really gladdened to start another phase. Dad booked the train tickets to Bangalore of 27th march ’10  and all my family travelled along with me to Bangalore for my joining as my company was not providing any accommodation so they were worried about it and had to get it done themselves to make it sure that I am secure and safe afterwards. Coincidently I met people in the same coach of the train to Bangalore who were about to join the same batch.
                During our journey, there was a person sitting on the single seat opposite to our side, he was tall, had a little stubble on his face and seemed to be introvert , was most of the times busy in his mobile phone. As the train stopped at a station suddenly a bunch of guys rushed into the coach and started talking in Haryanvi with him, I figured out from the talks that he was going to be one of my batch mates.., although I didn’t believe it at once because seeing his physique I was earlier guessing he might be having work ex of 4-5 years..lolz. I met some of other batch mates in the next coach and they were somewhat known to me through facebook, orkut (thanks to social networks); we gossiped, played cards, other games and thus enjoyed our journey.
                Finally we reached Bangalore and found a hotel near railway station .it was a really congested area, and was reflecting bad image about the city. We rested there for a while and then went to look for my supposed joining office. I liked the city when I first saw it, it was a hilly area, green and weather was awesome as I had heard about. On my first day of office I heard the HR’s lecture, got introduced to other batch mates and in the evening I explored bang with parents, I hated the area where the hotel was, I was really worried if all the city will be like that .We found a mosque there nearby while strolling, me and my mum decided to visit it as there was some celebration going on. Then something awkward happened, one of the followers called me and said ‘ you have to cover your head and face, you are a female and you can’t come here like this, cover your whole body with a burka’ I felt like eeewwuu what was that? do I have to cover my face before coming here , for what ? am not living in 10th century..come on its 21st century and I have the right to wear whatever I want to.I respect every religion but it shouldn’t try to bind anyone in its own norms, that is irritating.
              Anyhow after a day my family shifted in a new hotel near my office and I got a new PG where I was apparently shifted with my luggage. I got two other roommates there Ruma from Gurgaon and Aparna from Bhuvneshwar. Very soon I and Ruma became really good friends while Aparna used to remain a little aloof from us. I got many new friends during training including the train guy .Had fun, never studied infact. Life was fun there; I visited places in Bangalore almost every weekend. Having your own money in your hand, the feel of earning first salary and managing it own your own is uncomparable.It was an unforgettable experience of my life , all the memories have been imprinted on my heart J(will describe it some other time)..and after 3months I was about to get a project in Oracle when I got admission and flew away with a two days notice to company. It was strange but I spent exactly 3months there, i landed in Bang on 28 March' 10 and landed in Delhi on 29 June '10 morning.It seems now that i was on a kind of vacation for three months and but i would love to visit the place again and rejuvenate my memories :)
                commercial street in Bangalore from where i brought a no of things :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Script, Breakeven---with lyrics

 
hey guys listen this song ...its close to my heart and i really enjoy the lyrics :) ..."what am i supposed to do ..when the best part of me was always you ,what m i supposed to say when m all choked up and you are ok..i am falling to pieces...when a heart breaks no it dont break even ".Very well said.. that when a heart breaks it cant break evenly someone takes the heavy side while other one can do with a lighter one. Besides lyrics Danny the lead singer is cute and handsome :) .The video is equally good...gals will surely like it .Some times words in a song exactly synchronize with what your heart says ,  coincidence but true.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on good,after all life is too short to be anything but HaPPy

Friday, December 3, 2010

Finally, am home:)

I am finally home, had to pass through a lot of hurdles just to visit my home once. It was 2 weeks before that I had decided that I would go home on 2nd Dec ,but I forgot that am doing MBA where am not permitted to plan 2 weeks ahead  :-P .In MBA life we are sure of just the day we are living everything else is blurred and unpredictable. I know its long but you have to bear it … so here I go with
First hurdle: On last Friday we got the timetable and then there two tests one on Wednesday and another on Friday. We tried to convince authorities to get it postponed somehow so that we could leave on Thursday...(Oh ‘we‘ refers here me and my friend ) we were almost successful in our plan when next day there was a mail which informed about classes on Saturday so another problem,  had to see whether lectures could be bunked or not. Second hurdle: test on Thursday was again postponed to Friday. Third hurdle: surprise test in class on Thursday (I haven’t touched the book of this subject once) by this time I had almost made my mind that I will stay back. But then somehow decided that I want to go home and I will. Fourth hurdle: we had already booked our tickets of train to Chandigarh but could not reach station on time and missed the train (on my way forgot tickets in room so had to rush back to get them) then went to Kashmiri gate and boarded the bus. This was still not enough, there was jam on the route so it got delayed further by 1hr.Finally am home J, over ate delicious food made by mum and now writing it down. I felt as if some unknown force was stopping us from going home, something not visible, I don’t know what. I could have come home last week or last to last week easily but all the hurdles came in the week when we had decided that we will definitely go home. Its possibly the Murphy’s law which says that
“Anything that can possibly go wrong, does.”

That’s a glimpse of MBA life we live at premium B schools.  It has definitely done some good changes in our lives .One of them is that I am in habit of sleeping less now after one semester, habit of keeping myself busy in something or other, the thing is schedule is hectic and u can’t get time for yourself here except for one – two hours. Someone said truth that Its easy to prepare for CAT take CAT and get admission it’s much more difficult to survive here. First semester was like HELL. it seemed that I have been removed purposely from a heaven like place ‘Bangalore’ where I still had to get a project in IT firm and was enjoying my life by going out every another day with friends and had even made plans to celebrate new year in Goa But destiny had some other plans and I got admission in IMI and landed here on 29th July 2010.i was happy at that time for my decision but never imagined about what was lying ahead, but it’s fun here apart from work, u get to learn a lot of things through group works etc.It makes you learn that you have to work for that many hours daily later on, so dude start it now!

Its exact opposite of engineering where we did nothing except bunking classes, having fun, no work :-P. While now it’s more of work, little fun and no bunking of classes as its impossible to bunk here. But as engineers do have the habit of not doing work before time so here also they keep on continuing this habit where ever there is any scope of opportunity…because ‘engineers ko koi na koi keeda kaat hi jata hai ,kaam time se pehle na karne ka’. Talking about another aspect of life here in MBA, there are professors who keep on criticizing us in the hope that someday we will start working really hard and become good managers. Particularly there is one profs whose classes are like hell and difficult to survive, I keep on looking at watch but it moves very slowly in his lecture and time stands still. But they are enjoyable as well in another sense that it keeps me awake and attentive irrespective of how sleepy I was in previous lecture :-P. Overall it’s a unique experience of life here and hopefully I will see better in year ahead.:)